She took the time to soak in the night.

Absorbing the tender darkness.
Creating his face with the touch of a finger.

And it was warm.

He smiled.

She could feel this too.
It’s subtle softness.

“Never leave…” She whispered gently.

“Never. As long as you stay with me. I would be unable to live without your warm and guiding presence in my life and heart.”

Together in the maternal and protective arms of night they held each other’s face.

This connection.
And was it not real?

Again, was this a dream, an illusion?
A state of desire and wants?

A time and place that might exist for them in the future?


Something cool and wet traced over his finger.
Another followed.

“Don’t cry. Dearest…”

How could she not?

How could she not when she knew this was a dream, a moment existing only in her mind?
How long had she dreamt of being with him.

How long.

Her body shook with each withheld sob.
His arms carved a cradle for her to sink within for comfort.

This is too real. Don’t wake me up.
Don’t wake me up if I cannot be there with you.

Her eyes squeezed tightly to keep everything from ending.

Her hands tightened around the edges of his shirt.
Clinging.

No. No. No.

Oh the hours.
Silently trickling away.

The night swelled and receded.

The tide of dawn entered.

Blushing wine swallowing up the blue ink.
Devouring stars.

Faint clouds rolling in chasing off all evidence that night had ever existed.

And she held him tighter.
And she half whispered, half sang to him.

Her energy draining.

“Shine…
Bright morning light.

Now in the air,
The spring is coming.”

She rolled her head into his chest.

She could smell him.
Feel some warmth.

“Sweet, blowing wind…
Singing down the hills and valleys.”

As her arms shifted to tighten more, he grew softer.

The pillow?
Her eyes were shielded and tightly closed.

She dared not open now to see truth.

“Keep…
Your eyes on me…

Now we’re on the edge of Hell…”

And she could barely sing anymore.

She began to cry.
Speaking out in her own voice the rest from what she could remember.

“Dear my love…

Sweet morning light.

Wait for me.

You’ve gone much farther…”

Her head turned and her eyes began to open.
Reluctantly.

Looking through a shimmering ocean of tear filled vision.

Did she see the glass?
Did she feel his body?

Where was his heartbeat?

Was he breathing?

Where.
Where is he?

A golden trim along the horizon.

She took in everything.

Strained with every sense.
Hot tears slipped out and the vision cleared.

The glass was missing.

“Too far…”

And exhaled a long last breath.

The world was a swollen flood of dark greys as he opened his eyes.

The blinds tapped against the window as the breeze came through.
She was breathing deeply and did not stir.

She was asleep.

He reached up to touch her face, but curled his fingers back before he could feel the softness of her cheek. He had though better of it.

He did not wish to wake her.

This was where he wanted to be as well.
A shared dream perhaps, between the two.

Nothing would have made him happier than this becoming a solid reality.
Nothing.

How could he have acted so rashly before?

He would have died to see her go…
After all this time they had gained together, growing closer.

They were a part of each other’s lives, whether they were in the same room or across the world.
Had he left, she would have died too.
Even slower.

With all those memories… that new trust she had just forged with him.
To return to the past would have been devastating.

His eyes adjusted. They began to render the gentle curves of her face.
He turned his head to look at the window.

There was not much to see save for a dusty and faint scattering of stars.
He leaned back into the pocket of comfort her arms and body created.
He tipped his head back and watched the black shadow of the ceiling fan overhead.

He didn’t feel tired anymore and was unsure if he’d get back to sleep.
Taking in a deep breath he turned to his side, curling up closer to her emanating warmth.
He traced over lines of her body with his eyes and what he couldn’t see he connected the rest by memory.

He knew her so well.
This was worth it all.

This dream had to happen.
He could make it happen.
He had to.

This was perfect.
This was…

He could no longer resist as he brushed her shoulder gently.
The heavy breathing stopped.
She made little waking noises as she stirred.

Soon they were eye to eye in the nightly abyss.

“Hello.” He said.
Through the darkness there was a crescent of light grey.

Her smile.

“Good evening dear…”

A reply.
The shade tapped in a chuckling manner.

And there was peace.

The ceiling fan strained as it cast lazy shadows downward.

It was late evening.
The sun was ink washed out from the sky.

Torpid starlight scattered about like confetti after a long night of partying.
The shades were partly drawn, but she could still manage to see it through the tree line.

A stray breeze fingered loose strands of hair off her forehead.
In her arms there was a man, asleep. He was caught in this innocent moment, breathing heavily and fighting to stay in his dreams. She cinched her arms around him more securely and sighed.

Had it all been a dream?
Where was she now?

A near full glass of water stared blankly at her from the bedside table.
Couldn't have been a dream. It was nighttime, and her body told her it was time to be awake now. The evening holding its source of power for her. She felt hungry, but she couldn't move. Muscles in her fingers and legs twitched...

Ach. He was stirring.
He inhaled deeply and shifted position against her, but did not open his eyes.

She stared upward watching the fan with her eyes until dizziness ensued. What a crazy life this had been. She was already composing this story in her head before its time.

She had many stories in her head. She never told anyone, because she could never seem to finish them...
or she would finish them, but never be able to find a way to start them.

Crazy life.

She was composing this day-dream, its what she wanted. Its where she wanted to be, but where was she really?

At home on the computer talking to this person who trusted her enough to lay here unconscious in delicate sleep?
Does this make any sense?

No, she supposed it didn't.

This was reality.. a reality.. an alternate path to where her life could lead to. It was here she sought much refuge in tired, lonesome hours.
The events that had happened that afternoon, had frightened her. Could she go back and change it? Take that alternate path where it would havenever happened.

Hah.

She shook her head and smiled evenly.
She didn't want to play with fate so much, it wasn't her place. She enjoyed this dream even with all the pains and trials. For there were moments of mirth and euphoric giddiness in there as well.

For now, this was the right path set in her mind. So far so good. No one was trying to test her or take it away quite yet, but it hung in the back of her mind that could happen any moment.

Kind of like that stale refrigerator smell that won't quite disappear even after you scrub out everything completely and ditch the spoiled foods.

She was certainly uneasy and unsure of what she was doing. She had lost an incredible amount.
Now he showed up in her life waving a flashlight to show her how to get out of the hole she was in.

Everyone else had ignored her.
He cared. He cared and he was patient too. Such a virtue; patience.

What a story this was. In three years anything can happen. She was living proof. He was living proof.

She shut her eyes, and submitted herself to the blind world.

I close my eyes and I keep seeing things

She wasn't here, technically-

But she was out there wanting to be here.

Her hand ran a few idle strokes through his hair.
Maybe she could help him shake off some of his troubles too.

Rainbow waterfalls...

She began to fade out into sleep with him...

going..

going....

Sunny liquid dreams

gone.

at least for now.

How did it come to this.

He was slumped against the wall, glaring with a dose of high threat in his eyes.
A hand tightly clenched around a glass of what appeared to be water.

The afternoon sun had not yet tried to slip its fingers through the cracks in the blinds. The room had a sickly dull cream glow to it. Walls covered with a glossy latex paint over stucco. Cold air vented from the air conditioner and circled around every inch of the apartment.
Their apartment.

There was a deep sense of betrayal in the atmosphere. With each passing moment feelings were souring.

As she stared back with matched intensity, she wished she could relive it all over.
Do it differently this time.

As her memory crashed in on itself, she was taken away. She would relive it, but she would not be able to change a single moment.

***

"I had a bad dream last night." She was talking to her freshly made ex-boyfriend. How she hated thinking that.
"Oh?" He was giving his short 'really hate being forced to say something to you' responses.
"I dreamt things got better between us. That it all had melted over. We were sitting in your car. It was summertime and it felt so good to be with you again. You leaned over and kissed me." there wasn't much more to tell. That is where the dream ended.
"So whats so horrible about that dream?"

Because its never going to happen.

She couldn't say that.

"Because I woke up, and knew it wasn't real anymore, and I am worried it won't be." Damn, slipped out anyway. She had to sift for his thoughts. Did he want to try it again from the top? Would he realize that she had been human once? Could he look past her mistakes?
"You never know. Maybe you should take it as a good omen. Maybe that says something about the future."

But it won't exist if you're not willing to come back to me and work on this...

It had been a quiet night.
Perhaps, even a hopeful one.

At least he suggestively spoke of perhaps getting together again...

Weeks later she'd lose him anyway. So much for good omens.


Abandoned. The greatest friend of her life, vanished.
She deserved it though.

It was payback for those six months she and he hadn't talked, because she was going through a very tempestuos 'relationship' with someone else.
He was a friend at the time and hadn't wanted other people involved.
She didn't want to hurt anyone.

That old relationship finally burned out and she was free.
Yet, she was not unscathed by the fires it had wrought.

Payback.


***

There is a question raising its tiny hand to be asked:
Do you believe that where one person leaves off in your life, another can pick up from there?

She wasn't sure herself.
And yet...


Some series of events took her hand and planted her face to face with a man from the past.
As though fate had said "Here you need this, you both do. Work on it."

She wasn't sure what life was trying to say by this. She didn't understand the point, but she enjoyed the comfort. The company. The feelings it was bringing back before she could fall numb from pain.
So did he.

***

There was something here. A sort of zen harmony between these people.

Can you imagine your burning Hell of a life, extinguished by the balancing presence of another person you hardly know?

She moved on with her life, past the people who left her. She stayed with this person- knowing with an eerie certainty that this time she would be able to rely on it.

***

"So why aren't you here?" This was the question of the perpetual moment. Asked daily at least a thousand times by both parties.
The answer was, with slight variation, chiefly with the same: money, school, societal inconveniences. The moments they'd spend together- costly, but never wasted. She was determined to finally meet him. Indeed she would.

The summer rolled in, and she graduated. In celebration of freedom before slavery, she took flight to see him.

It was like her soul had gone through cryogenic freezing, and had been successfully revived. She was back again. Staring into his eyes. One can possibly imagine that which would follow.

As soon as she had gathered enough money from her job, hard as it was to be parted from him so long,
They were both able to pool their money and purchase an apartment together and share it.

This was a new life. They were pretty happy.

***

One day, the phone rang.

"Hello, its me. I'm sorry.. I am so sorry. I am sorry left all that time ago. Things weren't right. They were so rough, I had so much going on. I love you still. I'm willing to make repairs, I've grown up so much. Please, there has never been another person like you, another person so special."

Her mind was wheeling in darkness and confusion. Indecision. He had been brought back to life, and he wanted her to be a part of it again. He was human and had made mistakes, he had admitted to them. Like she had, but he didn't give her a chance back then. Things were hectic. That was to be expected.
She wanted to go back. To make amends. To destroy all the thoughts that had been a lie. This person, who seemed to be the perfect match to her soul. Even though there wasn't much balance between them. She decided to give it a try and go back.

She pulled out a bag, and planned to meet him.
She started to pack. Her fingers froze. Her body ached. She was still feeling betrayed.

Was this right? Should she return to he, who had denied everything abut them and forgotten her. He, who left her to the depths of the ocean he built.
She needed to retreat. She didn't want to go anymore. Or maybe she did. She could not decide.

***

He didn't understand why she was sobbing in his arms as he tried to comfort her- it was osmething about a phone call andher past boyfriend.
He had just gotten back to the apartment and had been curled up on the couch in tears. Things made more sense as she grew more stable. He saw the bag in the next room.

She was going to leave him. After all that time of healing up those deep wounds that had been left. She was leaving.

He wanted to die.



***

"Please put the glass down." Their eyes hadn't broken the line of sight between them.

He put down the glass slowly at her request. His free fist tight around something that caused her to shudder at the thought of.

The glass shimmered as the afternoon light hit it. Rays split, colors filtered out. There, in the slight cup of her palm danced a rainbow. She gasped in a deep breath and whispered. This time, for the first time in his life, he had not heard her.

"What?" It started off garbled, but grew more clear.
"...Said I would be with the man who could put a rainbow in my hands. This was my unspoken and silent prophecy. Instilled into my mind, that I could never speak of..."

The rainbow moved. It vanished. He grabbed the glass violently. Pressed the pill between his lips.
Why. Why. Why was he suddenly panicking?

"Wait!" She threw herself at him and pressed her lips firmly to his.
She had to win this.


Love never dies


"Spit it out! I'll die without you. This is where I want to be."
She was crying.


Love never fails


"I'm not going anywhere. I'll die with you if I have to. You put that into my hands when we met again all that time ago, this isn't some last cry of desperation. This is real!"
He coughed out a low cry and his eyes squeezed shut.


Love never ever fades away


The pill was cast out and rested between them. She moved her chin to let it drop.
It seemed like years passed as they embraced each other. From that moment, they never let go.

On the bed- exhausted from shedding tears. From shedding pain and doubt.
A pair of hands interlocked as they slept.
The rainbow danced again across the skin, from a source that could not be explained.


***
No one knows what will truly happen in this future.
No one knows if the future will be like this.

But perhaps..
..Ai wa futatabi koko e modoru darou...